Music is My Soul Candy
by TealEyedBeing
Summary: Collection of Ichigo and Dark Ichigo song drabbles and songfics. Genres include everything under the sun: Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, etc. So yes, yaoi is included in this so you have been warned. NO flames! Enjoy!
1. Song Drabbles 1

Song drabble challenge~! :D

_**[redone so I officially cheated xP]**_

**1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them.**

_See you at the bottom~!_

* * *

**"Let it Rock" ~by~ Kevin Rudolf ft. lil Wayne**

Ichigo grinned widely when he saw his millions of fans screaming at the top of their lungs, rising and falling like huge waves as his music blared out over the huge crowd swarming forward to get closer to him and his band mates. This was the life. He was on top of the world. It was like no one could touch him.

Looking over to his lead guitarist, a blue haired Grimmjow, and then back to the albino drummer that looked just like him, the lead singer grinned before singing his lungs out in the next chorus. The crowd went absolutely wild as they tried to lunge for either Grimmjow or Ichigo.

Shirosaki was lucky. He was safe behind his drum set as his gold eyes glinted joyously at their thousands of screaming fans screamed his name at that particular moment. Being an albino in the first place, the attention all the more deserved.

Ichigo grinned back at the albino. Hell yeah, this was the life.

* * *

**"What I've Done" ~by~ Linkin Park**

Shirosaki didn't regret anything that he'd done to Ichigo. Cutting him. Dragging him down with his words. Mocking him. Threatening to kill everyone that Ichigo fought so hard to protect. He didn't care that the orange head definitely hated him.

He did it to make Ichigo stronger. He did it to make his King the strongest out there. Only by threatening, mocking, hurting, tearing could he get his message across. Fight harder; stand up, fucking bastard GET UP!

He'd hiss venomously in Ichigo's dreams, his white hands clawing at the teen's subconscious to keep him alert even in his sleep. He couldn't afford to be weak. There was too much they were fighting for to lose. He had to be the strongest.

Even if it meant that they could never be the partners that Shiro wished they could be, this was better. Because Ichigo was stronger.

* * *

**"Ebay" ~by~ Weird Al**

Ichigo glared at the albino male clad in a used pink bathrobe that Shiro had undoubtedly pawned off some poor sucker on his drug-like Ebay obsession. Bubble wrap and empty boxes littered the orange head's room from where his crazy ass boyfriend hadn't cared to throw them away and was still glued to the computer.

"Shiro, you fucking prick, stop buying all this shit!" The teen snapped as he kicked a large empty box at the albino in his spinning chair.

Shiro swatted the box away without even looking away from the computer screen. "But Ichigo~! I'm highest bidder~!" The white haired teen exclaimed triumphantly, pointing victoriously at the screen with a black nailed finger.

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. "I don't care!" He ripped a poster of some woman in a red one-piece swimsuit off the wall. "Stop buying all this shit!" He repeated again angrily.

* * *

**"Closer" ~by~ Nine Inch Nails**

Whenever somebody asked Ichigo what was the first thing that came to mind when he thought of his lover, it was white. He was pure white, an albino, and his name, Shiro, even meant white! But that sure as hell didn't mean he was pure.

The second thing was sex. His lover was a fucking machine with a never-ending libido. It seemed like the albino's twisted little world completely revolved around making the orange head writhe and beg beneath him, caught in the throes of intense passion that only the albino could give him.

Shiro didn't believe in a higher power because religion said gay union was wrong. He always said absolutely nothing was wrong with him loving Ichigo because who would NOT want to fuck the sexy orange haired teen? Ichigo always blushed and hit him in part-offense. He took it part-insult, and a twisted part-compliment.

The albino had irresistible charm and could smooth talk Ichigo into anything that involved sex. Which, more often that not, was VERY dirty and kinky, and then Ichigo would later be downright mortified that he'd done it after they'd come down from their pleasure induced high.

Shiro was insatiable and Ichigo would never admit it, not even under the cruelest forms of torture, that he wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone else thought that Shiro took too much from Ichigo, sex-wise, but the orange head could care less. He got laid on an almost hourly basis. Who else could say that?

* * *

**"Love Games" ~by~ Lady GaGa**

If there was one thing that Ichigo found incredibly amusing and somewhat disturbing, it was his boyfriend's obsession with the music artist, Lady GaGa. He adored her because of her eccentricity and along with the fact that there was so much controversy over her.

The albino was literally a definition of eccentricity himself and caused much conflict as well so it was a perfect artist-fan fit between the two. Currently, Shiro was dancing to the song, "Love Games" and Ichigo admittedly found the meaning of the song seductive but was too busy drooling over his boyfriend's talented hips to actually care more than that.

Shiro's hands twisted elegantly over his head as his legs bent slightly, his hips grinding and undulating better than a professional belly dancer OR hula dancer. Ichigo didn't even know that a human's body could MOVE like that until he had met the albino now performing before him.

* * *

**"Riot" ~by~ Three Days Grace**

If there was one thing Ichigo's Hollow was definitely known for, it was causing chaos. Whenever he so very rarely slipped out between the cracks of Ichigo's crushing suppression, devastation followed in his wake.

It was like twin level five tornadoes had crushed their way through the area when Ichigo finally managed to regain control and was horrified when his eyes were immediately met with the carnage and utter destruction that surrounded him.

Ichigo had caused riots to be brought upon him. They weren't directly aimed at him, but since the mobbers couldn't get directly at their attacker (aka Shiro) they focused their fury on the guilty orange head.

As much as Ichigo didn't want to get lynched, they had a point. Shiro had to be stopped someway or another.

* * *

**"Fire" ~by~ Scooter**

Shiro was pure power. He was raw, undefined, and utterly unstoppable. His energy was seemingly unbound and his energy relentless and fiery, molten as lava but a whole lot faster. And he _was fast_. Just a white blur that enemies could barely trace with their eye before they were rent crudely in half.

Shiro's tongue and attitude were just as strong. He was cocky, arrogant, over self-confident. But he had the raw _power_ to back up his snide words and threats, in which he was _very_ creative in inventing up and his sly words never failed to make Ichigo throw up more barriers around his mind to keep the ruthless being contained tighter within his soul.

No one else would deal with this undousable flame. He was a pure white menace.

* * *

**"Numb" ~by~ Linkin Park**

Not many people knew that Ichigo had a guitar; even fewer knew that he actually played it. But when he did, it was pure, untapped passion and talent.

Shiro knew. Obviously, he knew everything that Ichigo knew and Ichigo knew that he could play a guitar. He just didn't think he could play it _well_. Shiro fully disagreed. His King could be a fucking rock star.

He had a voice that could reach into your chest and yank out your heart, leaving you gawking and gasping for breath. His fingers skimming over those taunt guitar strings flew effortlessly in perfect rhythm as strong music flooded the room.

Ichigo was talent.

* * *

**"Street Fighter (War)" ~by~ Sick Puppies**

When Shiro and Ichigo had fought Grimmjow, they had been truly one. They moved and breathed and _were_ together. This was no time to be squabbling over control. This was an enemy that _had_ to be defeated.

It was a must. Grimmjow truly hadn't stood a chance once the two of them had reached that conclusion before their thoughts meshed together so tightly that neither could tell whose thought was whose. Not that there was much anymore besides commands.

Left. Right. Spin. Stab. Block. Swing. Opening! _Blood..._

Their body flew seamlessly through moves never practiced before as they sliced the air apart with their black bankai. They were a force to be reckoned with.

* * *

**"Remedy" ~by~ Seether**

If there was one thing that the albino Hollow and orange haired shinigami agreed on, it was their liking of hard rock music. It wasn't deep or mushy like soft crappy songs but it had meaning. It had a distinctly rough edge to it and both would spend hours in the room just grinning at each other as hit after hit played on the orange head's music player.

Both were unaware, but the tough music was efficiently eroding the barrier between the two halves of one soul. The common appreciation and liking of hard rock, was only the key that the erosion needed to begin.

* * *

_For those of you who read through this, and found no difference, you're right. There isn't a difference. All I did was spell-check them. Don't go complaining or anything now. Please re-review if you'd like! ^^_


	2. Song Drabbles 2

"**Ice Cream and Cake" ~by~ Buckwheat Boys**

Shiro blinked at seeing the little figures on the TV. And what were the little figures on the TV doing? They were dancing on ice cream cakes. "Huh, well ain' tha' th' weirdest thing ya've ever seen?" He asked rhetorically to the sleeping Ichigo in his lap. Looking down, he smirked at the adorable expression on his lover's face.

* * *

"**Drop the World" ~by~ Lil Wayne Ft. Eminem **

Shiro wished that Ichigo would stop protecting everyone. He was breaking his back, trying to hold up the world from collapsing. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to save everyone? Why did no one else seem to try to help him? It was because they took advantage of him. And that wouldn't stand.

Shiro growled just thinking about it. However, currently, Ichigo was his alone. He was holding him in his arms. Or well, restraining him should be more like it.

"Shiro! Let me go! I have work to do!" Ichigo shouted, flailing and struggling, twisting in the albino's grip around his waist.

"No." The Hollow growled, surprising Ichigo with just how venomous his voice sounded just then. "I'm not lettin' ya do this anymore. Yer mine. An' I take care of wha's mine." He purred, and it was a sudden drastic change from his earlier tone.

Ichigo blinked at the soft tone that held a hint of concern. He slowly relaxed into his other half's embrace. Maybe this was okay...

* * *

"**I Kissed a Boy" ~by~ Cobra Starship**

Ichigo looked up when pale arms wound around his waist from behind. He grinned over his shoulder when he recognized it was his boyfriend. Shiro smirked and nuzzled his neck as they began to move together, pressed flush together, chest to back.

Girls looked at them excitedly, barely containing their squeals at the hot male pair that were quickly becoming rather intimate on the club's dark dance floor. Whenever Ichigo would jerk his hips forward, Shiro's would follow against the curve of his ass and when the orange head ground back, he would shiver at the albino's answering husky growl in his ear.

Ichigo bit his lip sexily, reaching up to hook his arms around his lover's neck and let his head fall back against the albino's shoulder as those sinfully pale hands traveled up from his hips to his taunt stomach.

* * *

"**I Don't Care" ~by~ Fall Out Boy**

Shiro grinned at another old lady that gave him an affronted look for his daring attire. Hell, just his abnormal appearance. "Yeah, tha's right lady. I'm a sexy bitch." He snickered when she gasped in offense and, still laughing, he skipped away when she started swinging her purse at him.

Throwing his head back, Shiro laughed jubilantly at the blue sky, drawing even more stares from the people walking past him on the sidewalk. Hells yeah, he didn't care shit for what people thought. As long as it was about him, he couldn't care less. Attention was attention, whether it is positive or negative attention.

"Shiro, stop blocking the sidewalk."

Grinning, Shiro lowered his head to see Ichigo grinning at him as he strolled up to the exuberant albino. Shiro purred. That was why he loved Ichigo. The orange head did everything that made him feel all the more of an attention whore. And he loved every second of it.

* * *

"**Kissed by a Rose" ~by~ Seal**

Ichigo smiled as the soft music stole over the restaurant's speakers. He knew that Shiro had requested it to be played at this hour along with his reservation. And he knew it was his boyfriend who had done it because he had only EVER told the albino that this song was his favorite in the entire world.

Shiro smiled back at him from where he was waiting at their table. Ichigo joined him seconds later and the two immediately reached out to hold one another's hands over the table, all the while smiling stupidly at each other. They were such a cheesy romantically couple. The cliché kind you see on Valentine's Day or something like that.

And the funniest part was that that's what they loved the most. They adored doing the most cliché things together. Like eating from the same ice cream cone, or just sharing a desert in general, and wearing matching outfits just for the hell of it. They had so much fun just being silly romantic. They shared such pleasant and happy memories.

* * *

"**It's Not Me It's You" ~by~ Prozzak**

Shiro was never more devastated than he was when he and Ichigo broke up. And it was over such a stupid reason that he didn't even want to remember. It was a reminder of the happy times they'd had before it'd happened. Shiro was usually dramatic anyways and he couldn't help but think of the times before they'd broken up was times of prosperity and then the times after were the Great Depression.

But then he'd found out the real reason why Ichigo had broken up with him. He'd nearly crashed his car in his haste to get to Ichigo's home with his family. Ichigo was in danger and didn't want to endanger Shiro so he'd broken them off. Shiro could care fucking less as Ichigo protested and even cried. He'd stay with him forever.

* * *

"**Gay Bar" ~by~ Electric Six**

Ichigo stared, wide-eyed in shock at what was before his eyes. Oh hell no, Rukia had NOT just brought him to a gay bar. He growled at the petite girl trying unsuccessfully to drag him into the bar. It had a fucking sign that had a rainbow on it for god dammit! He was NOT going in!

Looking up and over at a sudden screech, Ichigo blinked at seeing a white copy of himself just as fiercely struggling to avoid getting pulled into the gay bar as well. Heh, looks like he wasn't the only one.

* * *

"**Gay Boyfriend" ~by~ The Hazzards**

Shiro had an utterly deadpan expression on his face as his best girl friend played an utterly happy go lucky **gay** song. "Nel... tha's jus' wrong."

The green haired girl pouted at him. "Aww~! But Shiro-chan~! It's perfect!"

The albino gave her another deadpan look. "Nel, I have a boyfriend. His name is Ichigo an' he has a best girl friend too. Her name is Rukia." He said to her, his words slow and pronounced as if she was mentally retarded. Which he didn't doubt for a minute.

Nel whacked him over the head. "I know that~! I'm just saying! And don't you worry! I made sure Rukia played this song for Ichigo today too!" She said proudly.

Shiro's eyes widened. Oh hell no! He immediately spun and ran off. He had a boyfriend to save goddammit!

* * *

"**If You Were Gay" ~by~ Avenue Q**

Shiro had been currently sleeping comfortably on the couch and Ichigo had been dutifully working on his laptop for some project due for school when the orange head had suddenly heard a strange conversation. And then the music had started.

"What the fuck?" He asked stupidly, agreeing with the voice that wasn't singing even as he tried to find the source of the sound. He traced the sound to where it was coming out of his boyfriend's pocket. Digging into the baggy jeans, he pulled out Shiro's cell phone that was happily playing the strange song.

Raising an eyebrow at it and then the sleeping albino, Ichigo quickly pressed the end call button.

* * *

"**Get Your Back Off The Wall" ~by~ Family Force 5**

Shiro had first heard this song when it had played as a warm up song for his boyfriend's soccer team. Looking up at the people in the press box, the albino raised an eyebrow at the person's selection of such a song before turning back around and resumed his drooling over how sexy his orange haired lover looked in soccer shorts, long socks accentuating his even longer legs and how the light jersey clung to the teen's lithe body.

"So fuckin' sexy." Shiro mumbled to himself, his golden eyes hungrily devouring the form of his boyfriend and then grinning widely when Ichigo took down an opposing player and was called for a foul. "Heh heh dirty too~!" He giggled, very much pleased. He loved it when Ichigo was called for fouls.

The orange head was a faithful soccer player and Shiro made sure to never miss a game after he'd been to the first one.

* * *

_Keheh how fun~! xDD please review~! ^^_


	3. Songfic 1

_**Pet by A Perfect Circle**_

_Don't fret precious I'm here,  
step away from the window  
and go back to sleep_

Ichigo always knew that Shiro loved him. How could he ever doubt such a thing when the albino male always held him close, whispering such soft, affectionate words in his ear while the pale man pulled him back to the warmth of the older male's large bed and away from the chill that drafted in through the window that Ichigo found he just had an attraction towards.

He was beginning to forget why he thought to look out the window every night. He was happy wasn't he? Then why did odd thoughts of escape always come to him when he lay awake late in those beginning nights.

_Lay your head down child_  
_I won't let the boogeyman come_  
_Countin' bodies like sheep_  
_To the rhythm of the war drums_  
_Pay no mind to the rabble_  
_Pay no mind to the rabble_  
_Head down, go to sleep_  
_To the rhythm of the war drums_

Shiro was his protector. He saved him from the streets and the vicious people prowling them along with the cold and sickness that plagued the collapsing cities. He gave him warmth, comfort, love and attention; food and clothing and a large soft bed to sleep in while cuddled up to the even warmer body of his savior.

He hated it when Shiro had to leave. He didn't know what his lover did when he was away. He just hated it when he wasn't there to kiss him and hold him close and whisper his affectionate pet names into his ear and stroke his hair. He loved Shiro and forgot what was outside the windows he used to look out of longingly.

_Pay no mind what other voices say_  
_They don't care about you, like I do, (like I do)_  
_Safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils,_  
_See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do._

Shiro always thought about him. He knew because he told him so. Every time he would come back from wherever he went; he was always freshly washed so Ichigo wouldn't be contaminated by the filthy outside world. He was too precious to be dirtied, Shiro always said. Ichigo felt proud that he mattered so much to his lover and king. Every time he came to their shared bedroom, he would kiss and cuddle Ichigo and tell him just how much he'd missed him when he was away with dreaded work.

Ichigo always slept the best when Shiro was with him; those long, pale, burning warm arms wrapped around his bare body from their passionate coupling that was always soft and loving. Shiro loved Ichigo so much; Ichigo knew it and never doubted it for a split second.

He had everything he could ever want always only a few feet away; the white angel beckoning him to come back to their bed.

_Just stay with me,_  
_safe and ignorant, go,_  
_back to sleep, go_  
_back to sleep_

Ichigo ventured outside the bedroom once. He had gotten hungry and the servant that usually brought him his food hadn't arrived yet so he had irritably took to searching for the lax maid. Stupid girl, didn't she see how impudent she was being not feeding him? Shiro would be furious and fire her for sure.

He walked down the plush carpeted hallways confidently even though he knew not where he was going, proudly showing off the silk and velvet clothes that his lover dressed him so fondly in. His golden plated, white diamond encrusted collar gleamed beautifully in the dim light of the lavish hallway.

Shiro suddenly appeared before him from a side door. He mock frowned and tsked even as he wrapped Ichigo into his embrace, scolding him playfully for leaving his room. Ichigo pouted, explaining that he was hungry and that the stupid girl hadn't brought him his meal. As expected, Shiro made another angry expression and assured that the girl would never work here again.

Pleased, Ichigo happily let Shiro take his hand and pull him back towards the bedroom. He didn't notice the growing pool of dark red blood pooling out from underneath the door Shiro had just left from. That stupid girl would never see Ichigo again.

_Lay your head down child_  
_I won't let the boogeyman come_  
_Countin' bodies like sheep_  
_To the rhythm of the war drums_  
_Pay no mind to the rabble_  
_Pay no mind to the rabble_  
_Head down, go to sleep_  
_To the rhythm of the war drums_

Ichigo was ecstatic the day Shiro brought him a jewel encrusted brand new Apple iPod. Shiro said it was for his birthday and that his precious deserved to be pampered. Ichigo had kissed him so happily and was so overjoyed at his gift, that he didn't even really mind when Shiro sadly told him he had to leave for a couple hours but instructed him to listen to his new present the whole time he was away.

A while later, obediently too engrossed in all the fabulous music playing from the bejeweled ear buds that were playing their melodies loudly, Ichigo didn't hear the screams that reverberated throughout the air outside his palace home.

_I'll be the one to protect you from_  
_Your enemies and all your demons_  
_I'll be the one to protect you from_  
_A will to survive and a voice of reason_  
_I'll be the one to protect you from_  
_Your enemies and your choices son_  
_They're one and the same_  
_I must isolate you_  
_Isolate and save you from yourself_

Shiro always made the decisions for Ichigo. He always knew everything that Ichigo ever wanted so Ichigo never had to make a choice because Shiro had already thought about it and given him what he'd wanted. Ichigo loved that Shiro was so in tune to him like that. Ichigo loved everything about his lover. The albino lord was so wonderfully perfect.

He was currently being so pleasured with scorching touches and kisses, loving pet names and whispers of promises tickling his ears, that once again, the pleads of crying people were blocked from his hearing outside the palace as a war drum beat outside the thick walls of the castle he lived so happily in.

_Swayin' to the rhythm of the new world order and_  
_Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums_  
_The boogeymen are coming_  
_The boogeymen are coming_  
_Keep your head down, go to sleep_  
_To the rhythm of the war drums_

"I love you, my Ichigo, my precious adoration." Shiro purred to Ichigo, who purred in his sleep and cuddled closer against his shoulder. The albino lord smiled gleefully and threaded his fingers through those silky orange locks. "My pet."

_Stay with me_  
_Safe and ignorant_  
_Just stay with me_  
_I'll hold you and protect you from the other ones,_  
_The evil ones, don't love you son,_  
_Go back to sleep._

* * *

_heehee~! I __**immensely**__ enjoyed writing this x3_

_I hope everyone else liked reading it! :D I tried another writing style again with only a few words spoken at the very end and this is the first time I actually wrote a song fic so I hope its okay. ^^ please review! :D_

_p.s. this was done with the song on a loop for like 20 minutes xD_


	4. Songfic 2

**_Pain by Three Days Grace_**

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
_

The war was over. Soul Society had won, the worlds were saved, Aizen and Espada were extinguished, and everyone was safe, blah... blaaah... blllaaah...

Ichigo certainly felt as if he hadn't won. He was left with an emptiness that he doubted even a Hollow could compete with. Thankfully, he had one close at hand to prove him otherwise. A long winded verbal battle, a brutal beating at the hands of his irate inner albino, and being forced to submit to a different kind of vicious pounding, he finally **felt** something again.

_You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand  
This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand_

His Hollow demanded a name after that, insisting that he wanted to have **his** name leave Ichigo's lips in a scream, instead of just an incoherent sound, when he made Ichigo **feel** again, the only way he knew how.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

Their couplings were always the same; brutal, possessive, filled with overbearing lust and that pleasurable burn of agony and ecstasy mixed into one. They would struggle for dominance atop the other, Shirosaki most often winning simply because he inflicted the most pain and Ichigo became too dizzy from the blood loss to protest the blinding pleasure of getting fucked into the nearest flat surface. Occasionally, Ichigo would seize a rare chance to be dominant, when his resolve was strongest and his pain tolerance the highest. Those were the days that his Hollow screamed out **his** name, his **real** name.

_Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me I've got a plan  
When the lights go off you will understand_

How they still hated each other, but they **needed** one another. Their loathing was still there, just more often replaced by lust in the heated moments, their brief escapes from the plain, numb world that followed after the constant chaos ever since Ichigo had met Kuchiki Rukia. The young teen's secret, guilty pleasure; that he _loved_ fighting- the rush of adrenaline and power that flooded his limbs. His friends never knew, he wouldn't let them think their savior was so close to breaking his restraint and just throwing himself, unarmed, at the next Hollow just to feel a little of that _rush _again.

But of course his inner Hollow knew his innermost secret desires, and there was always a fight. No matter who won, even though the battles were brutal and destructive to the inner world, there was _always _an exhausting, mind-numbing struggle that often left bloody gashes as much as bite wounds behind in its wake. It wouldn't matter who claimed victory that day; it would always be left up to the one with the remaining strength to be the Top.

_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain_

"We can't keep doing this…" Ichigo murmured sleepily, his head resting against Shirosaki's ribcage and eyelids fighting to close as all kinds of exhaustion swamped his body. He swore at the albino when the white form sat up, removing himself from being the orange head's assigned impromptu pillow.

Shirosaki looked down at his King lazily, one eyebrow arched into his forehead and a long cut right above the brow mimicked the motion. "An' why th' fuck not? Ya havin' those damn moral issue shits again?" He asked in a sneer, reaching over to dig his black fingernails into the closest gash on his partner's skin, reveling when Ichigo cursed thickly and his body squirmed indecisively under the painful touch.

"No." The orange haired teen snapped, swiping the pale, but now bloody fingers away from his injury, his mind telling his body it should be pain, but it was thought of as pleasure. "I meant we have to stop trying to gut each other every time I come in here. We're gonna bleed out one of these days, and I dunno about you, but I'd like to stay alive to continue our 'activities'." Ichigo grumbled, using lazy air quotes around his last word.

Mildly surprised by his King's willingness to admit he _liked _their rough-n-tumble, Shirosaki's face was eaten by an obscenely wide grin. "No guarantees."

Ichigo snorted. "Of course not."

_I know (I know I know I know I know)_  
_That you're wounded_  
_You know (You know you know you know you know)_  
_That I'm here to save you_  
_You know (You know you know you know you know)_  
_I'm always here for you_  
_I know (I know I know I know I know)_  
_That you'll thank me later_

Ichigo didn't have any gratitude towards Shirosaki, because what they had didn't mean anything really. It was just the perfect way to satisfy both their vicious wants and desires without bringing anyone else into it. The albino Hollow damned Ichigo's still heroic nature; that he **still** felt as if he had to protect everyone from a danger that wasn't going to come. Shirosaki wanted to break that last remnant of the old Ichigo, so that he could show his new King what real pain was.

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
_Rather feel pain_


	5. Songfic 3

_Song lyrics_

**Shirosaki's point of view**

Ichigo's point of view

* * *

_**Evolution by Korn**_

_I'm digging with my fingertips,  
I'm gripping at the ground I stand upon.  
I'm searching for fragile bones.  
(Evolution)_

**There was never enough time. He had to find the way out of this damnable inner world. He refused to be caged within this blue prison any longer. Every single crack that appeared into the buildings beneath his feet, he dug his fingers into them and tore chuncks of concrete out, wounding the mental pieces. Even when Ichigo was quick enough to stop him and heal up those scars, reversing the damage, Shirosaki still clung to that building, watching it for another crack that would lead to his long awaited freedom.**

**He was so close he could taste it. And when he got out, he would break his "King" into so many pieces he wouldn't be considered human anymore.**

_I'm never gonna be refined;  
keep trying but I won't assimilate.  
Sure, we have come far in time...  
(Watch the bough break)_

**Ichigo had once tried to control him; tried to make him see "sense, reason, logic" and all those other stupid, useless human fancies. Shirosaki considered himself pure instinct, and such strong utter willpower could **_**never**_** be tamed into the soft, gentle horse that King wanted. Ichigo was just wasting his breath, but the Hollow never stopped him from trying anyways. Maybe someday he'd run out of breath and that would be the final break that he needed to escape this warmed-over hell.**

_And I'm sorry I don't believe,  
by the evidence that I see,  
that there's any hope left for me...  
It's evolution!  
Just evolution!_

False confidence. That's what his friends gave him. The only ones Ichigo knew who didn't try to constantly reassure him that he would never lose to his Hollow were Kisuke and the Vizards. His friends, who didn't know any better and just held their devoted blind faith in the orange head, gave him impossible scenarios of evidence that he would win the final battle. Ichigo doubted that they ever realized there _was __**no**__final__ battle_. The fight for his soul was a constant, never-ending power struggle.

Ichigo fearfully doubted that **he** would be the one to emerge triumphant in the "end." His Hollow was just evolving too powerfully; the proof was shown through all the changes that his Hollow's mask had grown through over time. First to having only a few stripes, then more, and more, and then completely changing design and color, along with a vicious new horned form… Ichigo was going to become the weaker link in this life lesson of Darwinism, and he was going to be swallowed alive by the survival's fittest.

_And I, I do not dare deny  
the basic beast inside;  
it's right here,  
it's controlling my mind!  
And why do I deserve to die?  
I'm dominated by  
this animal that's locked up inside!_

Ichigo **knew** he wasn't going to win this; he was slowly losing his will to keep fighting after everyone else had already stopped. There was no way he could ever hope to continue the eternal battle of his soul through countless milenia. There just was no way, whatsoever that he was ever going to come through the dominant power in this fierce struggle. He was losing the energy to keep the bars of his cage strong to withstand the claws and teeth of the beast he kept locked inside.

_Close up to get a real good view,  
I'm betting that the species will survive.  
Hold tight, I'm getting inside you...  
(Evolution)_

**Oh he was **_**so**_** close! He could literally smell it; Ichigo was losing it. He slipped more and more every day; and the Hollow knew that King had finally realized that the dominant species of the white masked creatures would truly be the ones to emerge successful in this dying world. The walls were growing paper thin. He was so close to getting inside Ichigo, and **_**being**_** him.**

_And when we're gonna find these bones,  
they're gonna want to keep them in a jar.  
The number one virus,  
caused by procreation._

Shirosaki was Ichigo's disease, and he would rot the orange head away from the inside out. The creature would keep his bones in a jar as a prize, flaunting his triumph over the Great Kurosaki Ichigo, all because the "King" had fallen from his throne.

_And the planet may go astray;  
in a million years they'll say:  
"Those mother fuckers were all deranged!"  
It's evolution!  
Just evolution!_

Ichigo didn't doubt for a minute that Hollows would still be the ones alive after all had died in some kind of prophecied apocolypse, and any intelligent future generations of the white masked animals would find bones of human beings; mothers clinging to their children, lovers to each other, and millions of people praying. And then they would think, "Those mother fuckers were all deranged!" because humans didn't evolve, and they were wiped out.

_And I, I do not dare deny  
the basic beast inside;  
it's right here,  
it's controlling my mind!  
And why do I deserve to die?  
I'm dominated by  
this animal that's locked up inside!_

Of course Ichigo didn't **want** to die, but he'd long ago accepted that he was losing the freedom to **choose** that decision. He was slowly being dragged under, only his bones being preserved from crushing because of his Hollow's sick obsession with holding them as his trophy once he had won. Ichigo didn't want to believe that he deserved to die, because he didn't. The Hollow inside was controlling his mind, implanting ideas and thoughts that weren't his, but with every day that passed, Ichigo began to believe that they were…

_Take a look around... (take a look around...)  
Nothing much has changed!  
Take a look around... (take a look around...)  
Nothing much has changed!  
Take a look around!  
Take a look around!  
Take a look around!  
Nothing much has changed!  
Take a look around!_

**Shirosaki screamed at Ichigo; laughed at him, taunted him, clawed at him, tore down every last fucking hope the teen had ever had. He sneered that all those precious people that Ichigo had fought so hard to protect, he would peel their flesh from their muscles, rip those tissues right off the bone, and grind those bloody white things to dust. And they would all think that **_**Ichigo**_** had finally snapped, and he'd been the one to do it. Shirosaki would leave their eyes safe from harm, maybe keep them in another jar next to Ichigo's own perfectly cleaned bones, just to taunt his previous King some more, poking fun at just **_**how**_** powerless the teen had gotten.**

_I, I do not dare deny  
the basic beast inside;  
it's right here,  
it's controlling my mind!  
And why do I deserve to die?  
I'm dominated by  
this animal that's locked up inside_

He was going to die. **He was going to kill him. **He was going to be forced to watch his family, his friends, his life be torn to pieces right through his very own eyes. **He was going to make his tormentor the tormented. **He was going to be eaten alive. **He was going to enjoy his long awaited feast on the flesh he desired so ravenously.**

_Why? (why) (why) (why)  
Why do I deserve to die? (do i deserve to die)  
(Why? Why? Why?)_

H**e **d**i**d**n'**t **d**e**s**e**r**v**e** t**o** d**i**e.

* * *

_Wheee~! Well that was fun! :D I actually stuck to the song lyrics really closely that time! :3 I think it may be one of my best works yet in this collection_

_Please review! _


	6. Songfic 4

_**Tomorrow by SR-71**_

_Is it any wonder why I'm scared,  
If I was a little younger would I care,  
Feeling like the walls are growing stronger,  
I don't know if this cage can hold me any longer_

Ichigo had never previously considered that he was just being used. The thought never crossed his mind. However, after his inner Hollow had been created and made itself known, the thought did invade his mind, a seed planted by a demon that was never supposed to exist within the orange haired human. That planted seed was to grow; infect and fester painfully until Ichigo could barely stand looking into the eyes of the people he once so faithfully called his friends.

Could he really just be a weapon to them? Would he be tossed aside once he was out of ammunition, and useless to their needs?

You never dreamed you'd have to live your life so guarded,  
Cause they'll find a way to make you feel discarded

Rukia and Renji had stopped coming around as often, and all other shinigami had basically severed all communications with him. The Vizards contacted him occasionally with brief questions about how he was coping; if his Hollow was still bothering him. Ichigo told the truth- no, the inner Hollow wasn't bothering him. It was still there, murmuring occasionally little thoughts here or there, but it never really bothered Ichigo. The Hollow was just the brave part of Ichigo that put a voice to the things he was afraid to say himself._And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else_

_I'm not afraid of tomorrow,_  
_I'm only scared of myself,_  
_Feels like my insides are on fire,_

Sometimes Ichigo grew afraid. Not of everyone distancing themselves away from him, that they surely, slowly were. Not of losing anything important because all the immediate threats had already been defeated. Not even his Hollow, who seemed oddly content to just _**be**_. What Ichigo was scared of, was himself.

_I never thought they'd want me to go even faster,  
__Never though I took my foot off the gas,  
__Everybody loves to be in on the pressure,  
__But I know they're all waiting for the crash_

He had gained such immense power in such a relatively short amount of time. But now he had nothing to do with that power, no outlet. It reminded him of the time Ishida had had to fire arrow after arrow after arrow, that very first time he had battled the Menos Grande and accidentally fired off a premature Getsugatenshou, just to save Ichigo from exploding. Without any outlet now, was Ichigo just a ticking time bomb? Was everyone waiting for the explosion?

_You never dreamed you'd have to live your life so guarded,_  
_Cause they'll find a way to make you feel discarded,_  
_Things have changed you've become a complication,_  
_Can make it through another day's_  
_Humiliation_

Ichigo distantly thought of all the times he had battled Zangetsu or his Hollow for vast amounts of power to protect the ones he held close. Where had all that power gone to? Was it just put to waste because of all those he had sought to protect were drifting away anyways?

Ichigo had to force himself to move ahead also, try to follow their lead, but they just advanced their speed, pulling farther ahead until he felt like he was standing still again. Things have changed, he realized, he wasn't their necessary savior anymore. They could live on without him. But…

How was Ichigo supposed to continue on through each day if he wasn't allowed to do what he had been born to do? _Protect…_

_I'm not afraid of tomorrow,_  
_I only scared of myself,_  
_Feels like my insides are on fire,  
__And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else  
_  
Ichigo talked frequently to his inner Hollow, the only one left who still would willingly. The white duplicate would look at the orange haired human through eyes of someone else, setting Ichigo's insides on fire, reminding Ichigo he was only scared of himself.

_Someone else..._

Ichigo wondered if anyone else had ever felt this way before, this abandoned or discarded, terrified of themselves in case they crashed one day, fulfilling the morbid expectations of all those who had thrown them aside once done with them.

_Is it any wonder why the answer keeps me petrified,_  
_Is it any wonder why,_  
_I'm scared..._

* * *

_One of the best AMV's I've ever watched is perfect for this song and fic. It mostly inspired this also, so go watch~! It's EPIC._

**http : / www . youtube . com / watch ? v = _ wPOenrJDmo**

_Meh, I've been working on my fics for awhile now so my creativeness kind of puttered out on this one towards the end, but I still like it :D remember to check out that AMV after you leave a review~!_


	7. Songfic 6

_**Warnings/Disclaimer: **I still own none of the songs used in this collection and neither do I own Tite Kubo's characters of the marvelous manga/anime Bleach. Warnings include possible mild angst and shonen-ai of the forbidden type. :D_

* * *

**~x~**

**See Who I Am by Within Temptation**

**~x~**

_Is it true what they say?  
Are we too blind to find a way?  
Fear of the unknown  
Clouds our hearts today._

No matter how many times Ichigo defended himself over and over again, the Soul Society still refused to pay any heed to his claims. They told him that he was too young, and too emotionally involved to make a clear decision for himself. One would think that after all the times the orange haired teen had proved their old ways wrong, they would finally understand that he didn't and wouldn't listen.

They feared Ichigo's power, and his Hollow was a major source of that power, what they feared most above all else. And Ichigo was refusing to allow them to separate the Hollow from his soul. Even Ichigo's shinigami friends pleaded for him to get rid of it, but Ichigo spat hostile barbs their way for bending under their superiors' words of that this would be the best for Ichigo. They could all just fuck off. Ichigo was keeping his Hollow.

_Come into my world,_  
_See through my eyes._  
_Try to understand,_  
_Don't want to lose what we have._

Shirosaki had developed a plan of sorts, but Ichigo didn't like it at all. They argued often inside their inner world, Ichigo trying to convince his white copy that any other way would be better because the Hollow's proposed plan was much too risky- he could be killed the second he was split from Ichigo's soul.

Shiro was exceptionally patient with his King, repeatedly telling him that with their combined efforts, Shiro **could** live, and manage to escape safely to Hueco Mundo the very second he was free. He suspected Ichigo the reason that Ichigo was being so stubborn on this issue was because the orange haired teen didn't want to lose a treasured piece of his soul.

_We've been dreaming_  
_But who can deny?_  
_It's the best way of living_  
_Between the truth and the lies._

Ichigo finally caved, because he wanted Shiro to be free too. Every day, he felt guilty for harboring (caging) his own lover within his very soul. He hated their plan, that he would have to hide the truth of his affection for his white copy and lie that he wanted the albino to die, so that Soul Society would safely separate the two without harming Ichigo. If they didn't hurt Ichigo, they couldn't hurt Shiro until he had his own body.

It was the best way to keep them both alive, because otherwise Soul Society would execute Ichigo for refusing to split the Hollow. Ichigo had initially said he would fight them all off, but then Shiro had pointed out that there would be no way that he would allow Rukia or Renji to be killed because of their friendships.

It was the only way, and Ichigo agreed. He would never like it, and would always miss Shiro, but this was the way to keep their world intact.

_See who I am,_  
_Break through the surface._  
_Reach for my hand,_  
_Let's show them that we can_  
_Free our minds and find a way._  
_The world is in our hands,_  
_This is not the end._

Ichigo sat down on the cold table, his body appearing willing but his eyes sharp and ready for the second Shiro would split from his soul. The Twelfth Division fukutaicho approached him with a syringe, positioning it at the crook of his elbow. Ichigo winced as the metal slid into his skin and suddenly everything was brilliantly white.

Quite abruptly, it was over and Shiro was suddenly right **there** beside him, dazed but completely solid and separate. Without hesitation, Ichigo grabbed Zangetsu and fired off a blast of Getsugatenshou, scattering the scientists.

"Shiro," Ichigo whispered, briefly stroking his counterpart's jawline to help Shiro return to himself from the daze of abruptly being cut off from Ichigo's life. It was disconcerting, like a massive hole was missing for them both, but it was necessary to live.

The albino Hollow blinked and his inverted eyes were sharp again with lucidity, and he grinned at Ichigo, stealing a rough kiss from pink lips while simultaneously opening a gargantua to fall through. Ichigo was left breathless as he watched his lover disappear into darkness.

_Fear is withering the soul_  
_At the point of no return._  
_We must be the change we wish to see_.

Soul Society had been successfully fooled. Ichigo managed to play off the Getsugatenshou as a fluke accident of the side effect of the sudden lack of power, and they believed him just because they also believed the blast to have destroyed the Hollow that left no trace upon its short time in this plane of existence.

Ichigo returned to the human world with a gaping hole in his soul, but he was comforted by the fact that Shiro was still alive in Hueco Mundo someplace. His bottom was still a little swollen by Shiro's rough kiss. Ichigo feared for Shiro's wellbeing after their separation, as they hadn't known what it would do to the albino. Was he weak without Ichigo's reiatsu supporting him?

All Ichigo could do was trust in Shiro to keep himself alive, otherwise it was for naught. 

_I'll come into your world,_  
_See through your eyes._  
_I'll try to understand,_  
_Before we lose what we have._

Urahara opened a door to Hueco Mundo, and almost immediately after Ichigo had stepped through, he was swarmed with multiple levels of Hollows. He ran, because they weren't what he was looking for. A few Getsugatenshou into the sand provide cover for him to escape, and then Ichigo was alone among the nighttime desert once more.

He walked for what felt like hours in the silence, carefully probing out his mediocre reiatsu sensing skills in search of an achingly familiar one. After walking halfway to the ruins of Las Noches, Ichigo finally felt a brush against his sense before the pillar of reiatsu was rocketing towards him.

Ichigo broke out in a run, shunpo-ing as often as he could but unable to see Shiro who was undoubtedly rushing towards him as well because the Hollow's albinism blended in too well with the white sand. All Ichigo heard was a buzz of sonido and a blaze of golden irises before they collided powerfully. Shiro's arms were strong around his shoulders, and Ichigo's arms were tight around the Hollow's waist.

_We just can't stop believing_  
_We can rise above their truth and their lies._

They'd done it. They'd really done it. They'd fooled Soul Society into thinking they still had power over Ichigo, and simultaneously freed Shiro to live an independent life. And Shiro was still strong, full of life and reiatsu that he fed off the Hollow reishi in Hueco Mundo.

Disregarding color, the identical pair were triumphant in their forbidden affection.

_I hear their silence_  
_Preaching my blame._  
_Will our strength remain_  
_If their power reigns?_

Soul Society was pleased with itself, often using Ichigo as a posterboy example of what **not **to do when teaching the new recruits, completely unaware of the wool Ichigo had pulled over their eyes. However, they still made trips into Hueco Mundo, searching for remaining arrancar, and Shiro had nearly been discovered several times. Ichigo himself had been caught in Hueco Mundo once, and it had aroused suspicion among the higher up's, which worried the duo.

If this kept up, would their plan still be triumphant?

_This is not the end._

* * *

_So yeah, a rather abstract songfic for you all :) you kinda have to really read into the lyrics to get the whole thing, and it turned out so-so, but I hope you enjoy it anyways :)_


	8. Song Drabbles 3

_It occurred to me that I've just been doing songfics for like a long time when it originally started as song drabbles. So I decided to do another batch of song drabbles! :D Here's the rules again._

**1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do ten of these, then post them.**

_So let's start! :D_

* * *

"**Forfeit" ~by~ Chevelle**

Ichigo was never one to back down once he'd stood up for something. No one ever forfeited against him either, despite knowing that he himself would never forfeit himself either. The battle was always to be had and won. Ichigo's Hollow certainly knew of what he meant. They both wanted to prove that their own idea of survival was right, and both were too stubborn to admit defeat and battled physically and battled of wills constantly. Maybe that was what had finally caused the friction that had led to something a little different but no less violent than their usual spats. Probably… Definitely. It was better this way. It made them both stronger.

* * *

"**Golden Time Lover" ~by~ Sukima Switch**

Contrary to appearance, Shirosaki the goth albino actually liked cheerful peppy songs that had an upbeat tune of happiness. He liked techno and pop music a lot more than hard rock and screamo, though he certainly liked his fair share of those too. Just the quick light tunes appealed to him in a way he hadn't felt in a while after his life had gone in the shit hole. So the songs cheered him up a bit, especially when the usual heavier songs had darker meanings and only served to make him more depressed at times

Enter Ichigo- the bright orange haired student that kind of personified the music that Shiro listened to on a daily basis through his clunky but well-used headphones. Maybe that was where Shiro's innocent crush started, watching Ichigo grin and flow his way through the school just like the music flowing in the albino's ears. It was just really sweet and natural and happy. Just like his music.

When they'd talked for this first time, Shiro had barely mumbled a few words, more than content to let his headphones trickle music from around his neck and instead listen to the melodious tones of Ichigo's voice as the orange head enthusiastically made up for the albino's lack of talkative nature by chattering a mile a minute. They soon realized they had similar tastes in music and it was a foundation to be built upon in the future.

Sweet, happy, upbeat- Ichigo. And he served as Shiro's new music and mood uplifter.

* * *

"**Swamp Song" ~by~ Tool**

Ichigo was considered the witch in the swamp. Even though he was actually male, his long orange tresses and slim figure flattered a feminine nature that simultaneously lured unsuspecting people into his nets and yet also sent them fluttering away terrified like moths from the blackness. There was also the eerie white cat that padded after Ichigo's bare footprints in the mossy wetlands of his swamp.

People would go in looking for adventure, and then they'd come back out with wide haunted unblinking eyes and claw marks adorning exposed skin. The scratches were always much too large to be from a normal house cat- like the size of the white cat that sat perched upon the witch's shoulders- like a tiger had taken a swipe at them instead. It was just a mystery that fueled fiery fear and precaution before all were restricted from entering the swamp.

However, as teenagers are want to do, they live for the thrill of disobedience and eagerly ventured into the swamps, and this time, none returned. Suspicious and fearful, the parents sought out their children from the witch who was actually a man, but could not find him again among the hanging moss of countless trees and muddy water where larger than normal reptiles lurked with reflective slitted eyes.

Sometimes, they saw white flash at the corner of their eyes, and stinging pain swipe at their heels, but they never found Ichigo or their missing children again.

* * *

"**Fake It" ~by~ Seether**

Ichigo never appeared to be concerned about dying. He never seemed to be in sincerely depressed spirit, where it lingered severely. He had been in occasional melancholy moods, and while harsh indeed, still quite short in relative period according to the longer battles he faced. Or so it how it all appeared. Little did they know that their favorite representative shinigami was flat out faking it. His happiness, his contentedness with the world as it was.

Of course Zangetsu and the inner Hollow felt and knew the difference, not at all pleased with the rain and the Hollow himself was quite pissed off that nobody else of his King's supposed precious nakama- that _not one_ of them ever seemed to notice that Ichigo was drowning on the inside of his soul. They believed him strong and sure, unaware that he was already broken.

* * *

"**Eins zwei polizei" ~by~ Happy Ravers**

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. The new German transfer student that their high school's gossip was currently centered around, and also currently the center of every shred of malice and ill-intent Shirosaki Ogihci had in his long and lean pale body. What was the cause for this unrepentant hatred? The blue haired bastard kept hitting on _his_ King-Kurosaki Ichigo.

Shiro didn't care for anything else but the desire to get him to _stop it_ and took extra measures to always position himself between the orange head and the blueberry.

* * *

"**You Spin Me Right Round" ~by~ Marilyn Manson**

If there was one thing Ichigo truly noticed about his Hollow every time they had faced each other, the Kurosaki teen had noticed that the pale copy always started spinning his reverse Zangetsu- whether it be the huge shikai on its cloth hilt, or from the chain links hanging at the end of his bankai. It was something Ichigo had only mimicked once when he'd rescued Rukia- back when he hadn't known that his carbon copy was a _Hollow_ and unwittingly used the technique. Since then, Ichigo hadn't use it yet since.

Ichigo wondered if there was actually any actual beneficial additional power to the swinging motion, or whether it was just for dramatic effect.

* * *

"**WOP" ~by~ J Dask ft Flo Rida**

Shiro was a goddamn _dirty_ dancer.

Ichigo blushed hotly as the club pounded some fast paced popular hip hop/rap song from America, and sipped nervously on his beer in an attempt to soothe the dryness in his throat that only developed further as his eyes remained locked on the pale form of his lover grinding and thrusting out on the dance floor. His partner was Grimmjow, which didn't bother Ichigo in the least, because the blue haired man knew he had no claim to the albino and only served to help Shiro's enthusiastic dancing and compliment him for Ichigo's eye candy.

The long lean legs were clad in sheer white skinny jeans and it only emphasized every single little twitch of those delicious hips and the mouth-wateringly tempting V of Shiro's hipbones disappearing into the white denim. The albino was unashamed of his sexual dancing, thrusting out his chest and hips before fluidly dropping to the floor on his heels and grinding back upright.

Ichigo was well aware that he had long been drooling.

* * *

"**Hero" ~by~ Skillet**

Ichigo was the goddamned hero. Didn't matter what fucking world it was, Ichigo was always the one shining in the human world. Even here in this blasted sideways inner world, the King shone brighter than any metaphorical knight decked out in armor could ever hope to be.

But to Shiro, Ichigo was no _hero._ Not for _him_ anyways, or Zangetsu-san either. Sure King was a hero _out there_, but he'd forced them to teach him that fucking Last Getsugatenshou and they were fading away- right out of existence. And they weren't going to be saved by everyone's beloved hero either.

Why did Ichigo have to be so damn focused outwards? Didn't he realize that they wanted only to protect _him?_ Be _his_ hero? Ichigo wasn't a hero, because he didn't save Zangetsu-san or Shiro from dying- disappearing.

They weren't saved just in time.

* * *

"**The Bad Touch" ~by~ The Bloodhound Gang**

There were several very important differences between Hollows and humans that you should know about. The most obvious one was that humans had emotions and Hollows did not. Shiro was grateful for this, because he hated them over the power they controlled over your body when you were in "love" with someone. Not that he knew from experience, but he saw it in the other humans from his King's eyes.

Another thing is that most Hollows rarely take on a human form, and even then still have some kind of skeletal look about them, while humans looked fleshy and alive. They naturally shouldn't mix- mixing life with death never ended well- and yet Ichigo was a damn especially emotional human and he kept trying to force the two again, no matter how often or harshly his inner Hollow rejected him time and time again.

Lovers? Fuck-buddies? Casual sex? Shirosaki didn't do sex period. He certainly had no desire to his fricken brain-dead King. Why couldn't Ichigo go off and bone one of the damn multiple people practically throwing themselves at his feet, instead of turning inwards to _him?_

* * *

"**I Kissed a Girl" ~by~ Katy Perry**

Shirosaki was really _fucking pissed off_. His stupid boyfriend of an orange haired brat had kissed a girl. He'd allowed himself to get shit-faced drunk and he reeked of cherry chapstick, looking dazed and flustered and quite pleased with himself. Well, he had been before Shirosaki had slugged him straight in the face and stalked out of the club.

Fuck him, Shiro certainly didn't need him. He didn't care less whether they were in a relationship anymore or not. For him, it had ended the second Ichigo had started liking it. Really, he should have expected this, because really, once a straight man, always a straight man, right?

Apparently wrong because Ichigo looked so incredibly pale and sick the next morning once he'd realized what had happened.

* * *

_xD hooray! :D got the creative juices for my OTP flowing again~! :D_


	9. Songfic 7

_Happy Valentine's Day~ or in many more cases, (such as me xD) Happy Singles' Awareness Day :3 enjoy it either way, ne? I heard this song on the radio the other night, and I've always liked it, and so I decided to write a songfic with the lyrics, (because it really is just utterly sweet) and the fact that it's V-Day just made it better :) hope you like._

_This fic is an AU and an obvious yaoi too._

* * *

**~x~**

**Iris by Goo Goo Dolls**

**~x~**

The ends of his jeans were frayed from years' worth of being dragged underfoot over carpet and concrete. Peeking out from under the frayed jeans, the toes of his converse used to be a glaring white, but now were scuffed a dirty light gray. He'd cut holes into his long sleeved shirts for his thumbs to hook through, keeping the sleeve cuffs wrinkled in his palm within curled fingers. His hair was very long, wild with split ends as if it had never been cut in his life, and it was often swirled up at the base of his skull and pinned there with a rubber band.

Unlike the rubber on his shoes, Shirosaki himself _was_ a glaring white- his hair, and especially his lily skin. Even his scars appeared silvery whenever they were glimpsed upon rarely seen pale forearms, the only proof of their existence the rare moments in the science lab when Shirosaki had to push up his sleeves to keep the frayed ends out of the chemicals. His eyes were a weird shade of honey but hard- more like amber that dead things were frozen in forever.

He never spoke but to correctly answer questions asked by teachers in classes, his voice sounding watery and weird with dual tones- he spoke lowly and deeply, but his natural tenor was higher pitched and eerie. And even stranger, as if in deliberate contrast to his entire frayed appearance, his fingernails were always painted a shiny abyss of black, never chipped. He got into the University on a full-ride-paid academic scholarship, using bizarre but accurate methods of intelligence with his eccentric, roundabout way of thinking.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

Clean cut and colorful- an identical opposite to Shirosaki, Ichigo admired the albino from both afar and close by. Maybe Ichigo was narcissistic, or perhaps Shirosaki just held an ethereal kind of beauty that attracted at the same time it repelled. In any case, as soon as Ichigo had stepped foot on campus, he'd been magnetically drawn to the upperclassman. And he watched. He watched a lot… and it was probably to a creepy amount for someone as normal as Ichigo, compared to the abnormality of the one he watched especially.

But something about Shirosaki was perfect- a weird, strange, bizarre and abnormal, eccentric one-of-a-kind perfect. It drove Ichigo into restlessness trying to figure out what it was that appealed to him so strongly, as if his blood had transformed into fire ants stomping along under his skin and he just could never sit still long enough to ponder it completely, instead choosing to sate his restless desire by following and watching and listening. They shared two out of five classes, but Ichigo wished it was more at the same time he didn't. If they shared all classes, then Ichigo might have not attended the University at all, by example he was so distracted in the shared two.

Ichigo liked the weekends, because Shirosaki had long ago staked out _his_ spot under the oldest tree on campus and every Saturday, without fail, spread out a tattered blanket between the roots before curling up on it with his open, rented textbooks and scrawled writings scattered among several bent notebooks. The albino spent countless hours there, drifting from one side of his studies to the next, seemingly without a coherent pattern of studying, but his perfect grades stated otherwise.

Around the third Saturday after Ichigo had realized the pattern and started watching, the orange head knew that Shirosaki knew he was watching. But the upperclassman didn't say anything to discourage the new addition to his routine, only including Ichigo with the occasional glance as he did with the rest of the students who passed by or settled in the grass also to study. Around the seventh Saturday, Ichigo mustered up enough courage to wave when those amber eyes drifted over him, elated when they lingered on him in interested contemplation. A wave was returned, but Ichigo's heart leapt in his throat because the gesture was a beckoning one.

_And all I can taste is this moment_  
_And all I can breathe is your life_  
_And sooner or later it's over_  
_I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

Following every Saturday after that, Ichigo was allowed a corner on Shirosaki's blanket, and the orange head glowed with happiness, joyfully bringing along his own books to read and hopefully recover some of his grades. His heart still jolted pleasantly whenever Shirosaki spoke- whether it be a request for Ichigo to pass a battered notebook or an easy question about personal life, it never changed to elate the orange haired younger teen because Shirosaki had _never_ spoken casually to anyone before him. Ichigo was proud. And a few moments of radical, logical reasoning scolded Ichigo for being so proud over something so simple and stupid- like he was special- but Ichigo _did_ feel special… and he selfishly wanted more.

Surprisingly, it was given to him in a way that Ichigo was too shocked to fully comprehend at the moment, until he had the week to consider and make his decision the following Saturday. Ichigo had folded himself down into a comfortable seat on his usual corner of the blanket, meticulously avoiding Shirosaki's strange shorthanded notes, when the albino abruptly angled close and ghosted a soft kiss over the corner of Ichigo's mouth. The younger male instantly froze, chocolate brown eyes wide with surprise even as his heart pumped vigorously. Shirosaki sat back in his usual position, tilted his head with a _smile_ that made Ichigo's throat constrict painfully, and then returned to his inked notes as if the whole few seconds it'd took to lean over and peck Ichigo hadn't happened. For a minute, Ichigo was unsure whether it even had or not, but in the end, his burning face convinced him that it had.

He'd been startled and more than embarrassed, but hadn't that been what he'd wanted? Maybe he hadn't known specifically it was _that_ that he wanted, but he'd still been gifted with what he'd been craving… right? Ichigo didn't know. Didn't know if he really wanted a relationship with the strange albino he'd been admiring for his eccentricity, or if he was even gay if that was to be considered. He'd been a sort of passive asexual before that kiss, just content to be as he is, but that electric brush of cool lips against the corner of his mouth had seemingly woken up every flaming desire his body had ever repressed.

He wanted. He wanted badly. But was it his to take? Shirosaki had seemingly offered, but what if was overthinking this, and it hadn't meant anything at all? But friends certainly didn't do intimately soft actions like that, and what else was there for Ichigo to do _but_ read into it. With far too much indecision in his life already, Ichigo decided to just reciprocate the next Saturday and hope(_pray_) for the best.

As usual, Shirosaki was sprawled on his blanket, several long alabaster strands escaped from the rubber band and pooling in circles on top of his scratched out and highlighted notes. With his heart jackhammering in his chest, Ichigo paused for a moment, utterly starstruck by how utterly _beautiful_ Shirosaki looked, laying in dappled sunlight- before he nearly collapsed onto his customary corner, trembling violently with nerves.

He looked down at where his hands were tightly gripping onto his own notes, crinkling the papers shoved inside and bending the notebook's spine. It's what he felt like inside. He jolted when Shirosaki slid fluidly up from his previous position of lying on his stomach, bracing himself with one hand- a pale thumb still caught inside a hole in a sleeve- and lingered just before his lips- waiting. Ichigo felt like his bones had melted in relief, his relaxed slouch allowing him to fall that extra inch and fully connect their lips for a first kiss.

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_  
_When everything's meant to be broken_  
_I just want you to know who I am_

Released from his insecurities, Ichigo's personality returned to its originality- having been contorted into innocent infatuation the moment he'd realized Shirosaki's existence. Now that he'd been accepted into a life he hadn't even realized he'd been craving, Ichigo's strong spirit resumed burning with a bright and joyous heat. Like one who had been stranded in the ice too long, Shirosaki basked in Ichigo's brash and sometimes loud, almost one-sided conversations. Ichigo sometimes felt like the albino was just absorbing whatever was said to him, like he had with teachers, but the feeling would leave the second Shirosaki would start murmuring back personal details about himself.

A few people wandered away from Ichigo, but he didn't lose any _friends_, and he kept close connections with them in other days besides his fixed Saturdays and occasional weekday when he was invited to Shirosaki's dorm room, or the albino was in his own. His grades were improving rapidly now that he no longer had any proper distractions, and Ichigo's college life was the epitome of perfect. It all revolved within the relatively small radius of the University's grounds, and Ichigo was terrified of leaving it. It had been a long time, long enough until Ichigo admitted that it had been since before his mother had passed away, before Ichigo could remember ever feeling _this_ complete before.

Shirosaki had been the initial perfection- the key that had led to this general feeling of completeness. And Ichigo clung tightly to his tiny world, unwilling for it to shatter and venture outside into the world larger than his current one. He wanted to remain selfish for so much longer, enjoy being himself and having somebody _special _to share it with. But the **world** refuses to be held at bay despite all efforts, and Ichigo's perfection began to crack.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_  
_Or the moment of truth in your lies_  
_When everything feels like the movies_  
_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

Ichigo's high school friends rejected and protested, and the orange head felt like crying every single time he saw the bruise marring Shirosaki's jaw, which wasn't even what made him feel so utterly awful. It was the expression that practically screamed "I'm used to it" on his boyfriend's face when Ichigo's then-best friend had struck the albino, and no matter how many times Ichigo apologized and attempted to soothe the hurt, that horribly truthful expression wouldn't go away. It made Ichigo feel so much worse, for once having such a hateful and homophobic friend and hadn't even realized it.

If only they hadn't decided to come visit him on a surprise whim. If only they didn't have cell phones to text and call his family in concern for him, asking if his father had known about his relationship with a stranger. If only his dad hadn't been so insecure about losing another of his treasured family member's so soon. If only stereotypes and prejudices never existed in the world, and Ichigo wanted absolutely nothing more than to seal up the cracks in his little ball of perfection, but it was too late and reality was trickling in all too quickly with a harsh, cold bite.

And through it all, Shirosaki held Ichigo as he trembled and pulled sorrowfully at his hair in mourning for his previously utter happiness, but didn't say a word.

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_  
_When everything's meant to be broken_  
_I just want you to know who I am_

Frayed along all his edges, Shirosaki was an odd kind of perfect, and Ichigo had fallen hard with deep emotional bruises that led into his well of sheer love he had for the albino. Those months they had shared so blissfully together, melding their personalities together to create something that just _worked_ so fluidly, and now it was all going to be taken away.

No matter how much Ichigo pleaded and explained and reasoned, in the end, he couldn't afford to stay at an expensive University, even with his scholarships, when his father completely removed all his funds. His things were packed the following week and- nobody _understood_.

Silent tears were wet on his cheeks, and Ichigo couldn't believe that the world had been so mercilessly cruel just because he'd fallen in love with something so beautifully different. His hand was tight on Shirosaki's, his thumb compulsively rubbing against the slick nail polish of the albino's own thumb, forever hooked into his sleeve. It only made Ichigo sink his teeth into his bottom lip to try and contain a sob. Ichigo hated the world that didn't understand.

Feeble from weeks of constant friction and strife, Ichigo could only stumble to catch himself as his wrist was wrapped in his father's much larger hand and yanked into the car. Shirosaki's cool fingers were ripped from his own, and Ichigo's eyes were wild when they sought out familiar honey orbs.

Never before, would the world see any other soul look so crushed as a car left a college campus.

_I just want you to know who I am_

* * *

_Well… that certainly turned out how I didn't originally expect it… jeez, started out so fricken fluffy, then my muse apparently decided to be a bitch and write some angst! xD I still like it though :) because it's far from the truth that every Valentine's Day is a happy one._

_Review?_

_p.s. here's a thought- the lyrics are Shiro's thoughts- not Ichigo's :)_


	10. Songfic 8

_I have a sequel planned for Iris, no worries, but my friend sent me this song awhile ago and I had to do it xD you seriously need to youtube the whole song because I cut out some of the lyrics here, because it's so great. Actually, you probably do need to listen to this song in order to fully get how I wrote this fic… well anyways, enjoy xD_

_Warnings for this one include: OOCNESS, language (both in lyrics and fic), drug-use, cross-dressing, YAOI like always, possible offensiveness, crude. Implied sex but unwritten. Kind of incomplete, unsatisfying ending because I'd lost my motivation for this idea but I figured I might as well post it if I'm not going to work it more, so here you go._

* * *

**~x~**

**Fer Sure (Maybe) by The Medric Droid**

**~x~**

_Fer sure, maybe  
Fer sure, not  
Fer sure, eh  
Fer sure, bomb_

They were poison for each other, or perhaps they'd already been dying even before they had even met each other, because after all, they had met at a party slung together for support- both giggling madly under the influence of a cocktail of drugs and alcohol. Shiro had been carrying his stilettos with two fingers hooked into the straps and stumbling along barefoot, while Ichigo's skirt had a tear all the way up his waist, only the elastic band keeping the red fabric from revealing his very male gender. Lipstick smeared, eyeliner running from tears of laughter, long tresses mussed and tangled, styles long forgotten.

They'd been woken up by the 6AM sprinklers installed in old man Yamamoto's lawn and had gotten soaked because pounding hangovers and vomit induced fits had made it hard to flee shrieking like they normally would have. After a moment, Shiro had realized he had company on his usual morning routine and peered blurrily at Ichigo, wondering if they'd fucked the night before, unable to remember but hoping they had anyways because the orange haired beauty was sporting an ass to die for. Then Ichigo had turned around to find his missing necklace and spotted Shiro, and that was the moment both were hooked.

If they were poisoned by one another, then at least each was the poison they _picked_ to die with at their side.

_Pulled up at a stop light_  
_Did drugs on the dashboard_  
_Look at the mess we made tonight_

Shiro stuck his head out the window, long white hair whipping around his face and the wind feeling like it was going to rip out his dangling earrings, but he screamed anyways- loud and suddenly enough to make the old lady driving next to them swerve and then slam on her brakes to avoid crashing. Immediately the albino nearly died laughing, by literally nearly falling out of the window if Ichigo hadn't shoved a hand into his jeans' waistband and yanked him back inside, their car swerving too because Ichigo was laughing hard as well.

Plopping back in his seat gasping for air despite having just sticking his head into a stream of the stuff, Shiro kicked open the faulty glove compartment and then ducked forward to rifle around in the junk infested dashboard drawer. "Oh god that was fuckin' hysterical. We got any ecstasy left, Ichi?"

Ichigo pressed a red nailed hand to his chest, wheezing for breath and bending towards the steering wheel with remaining giggles. "Oh god, I don't even know, maybe? I know that I did swipe some coke off Grimmjow earlier when he tried to feel up my ass."

"That dirty perv." Shiro cackled, successfully pulling out a baggie filled with innocuous little round white tablets, counting six aloud. "Fuckin' perfect, three for each of us."

"Gimme- Shiro you mother_fucker_!" Ichigo swore at his companion, stomping on the brakes at a redlight with full intent to lean over and strangle the albino who had just tossed back all six of the tablets despite his words.

Shiro, however, leaned over to meet the irate orange head and grabbed double handfuls of hair, roughly slamming their mouths together and shoving his tongue into his partner's mouth- uncurling it inside and depositing three slightly dissolved tablets onto the orange head's tongue.

The albino drew back and licked his lips, swallowing down on his own share. "Better find a place t' park soon Ichi before things start gettin' all wonky~!"

Ichigo's heel stabbed the pedal and the tires squealed as the orange head decided to do just that.

_Kick off your stilettos_  
_(Oh, yeah)_  
_Kick off your stilettos_  
_And fuck me in the backseat_  
_Fuck me in the backseat_  
_You're always falling in disguise_  
_And always quick to compromise_

His eyes were spinning and Shiro looked like a multicolored pale smear sprawled out on the dark vinyl of Ichigo's backseat, but the albino's black lacquered nails were fiery where they dragged down his recently bared back and Ichigo knew he must be doing things right if the kinda echoing moans were anything to go by.

It was hot, it was rough and far from anything resembling tender despite both of them being dressed like women. Gentleness wasn't needed, not when they knew both could take each other raw.

_Kick off your stilettos_  
_(Oh, yeah)_  
_Kick off your stilettos_  
_And fuck me in the backseat_  
_Fuck me in the backseat_

Shiro panted in Ichigo's ear, combing his fingers through damp orange tresses with a smug grin working its way onto his lips. The drugs they'd taken before had completely enhanced the sex and hadn't been the point? Well, what did it matter anymore.

Ichigo rolled over awkwardly, one knee on the seat and one foot in the footwell with a bent leg to support his position and huffed at the heat in the car, pressing one hand to the back of the driver's seat.

"Fuck, that was-"

"-yeah."

_Fer sure, maybe_  
_Fer sure, not_  
_Fer sure, eh_  
_Fer sure, bomb_

That was the official start of their crooked relationship. They looked alarmingly similar, and their personalities simultaneously complimented each other and clashed violently. They fought all the time, liked fucking to make up, shared drugs and bitched at each other for taking more than the fair share. It worked and then didn't more often than not.

They lived apart, couldn't stand the idea of living together when they bickered over the radio station in the car alone. Ichigo went to a community college, dressed as a man with long hair and feminine tendencies while at classes. Shiro graduated high school and went straight into a family's friend's business that he never elaborated on.

Shiro said they weren't going to get married or some shit, so Ichigo didn't need to know every detail about his life. Ichigo shrugged his shoulders and didn't care less at the snub, content with the rocky semi-stable relationship they had now.

_This is the end of what we planned_  
_(Of what we planned)_  
_And now..._

_We're not falling in love_  
_We're just falling apart_  
_Girl, dance the night away_  
_This is how the beat drops_  
_This is how the beat drops_  
_Just let your body go_

"God, I hate you sometimes, you know that!" Ichigo shouted over the throbbing base of the club music, a fierce scowl dragging down his painted lips.

Shiro tossed his hair over one shoulder and cocked out one hip, mouthing his words instead of shouting. The grinding people around them didn't need to listen in on their fucked up lovelife. _I hate you too. _

Ichigo's lips twitched upwards despite himself, beginning to sway with the music once more. God, Shiro could be such an ass, so much sometimes, but then he did something like that and Ichigo just folded. This was why they were still considered a thing instead of having "broken up" months ago.

_This is how the beat drops_  
_This is how the beat drops_  
_I wanna see your panties drop girl, now_  
_All this time is wasted_  
_Pretending we're in love_  
_But that's alright_  
_'Cause you know I love being with you and seeing you cry_

* * *

ran out of steam xD seriously suggest listening to the whole song


End file.
